alhamdulillah segala puji bagi Allah Tuhan sekalian alam....
my life as a medical student will be ended.. I passed my professional exam and it will be my entry point into the outside world to develop my career and gather the knowledges as much as possible.
passing this exam is not the final but life is just begin..... I'm expecting my future will be much more tougher, as life as a house officer is..... hmmm...no life. That is what I heard from my seniors and my lecturers. I need to survive in the next 2 years and I hope I am able to do so.
I just finished shadow housemanship for 2 weeks which are now compulsory for the UiTM medical students who passed the final exam. I think not all medical universities do this programme. For me, it was very beneficial because during first week we were exposed several lectures such as How to be a doctor, life as houseman, managing the ward, writing referral letter, planning future career, curriculum vitae and the most exciting part was how to manage our financial later. Then, the subsequent week, we were required to go to the allocated ward and became a 'shadow' to the house officers.
getting the title 'DR' in front of the name is not everything, but it resemble responsibilities, amanah, sacrifice and expectation. How good you are as a medical student will not promise you will be a good physician in the future.
uitm.....is a place where I learnt. 5 years ago, when I went to this institution , I promised to be a better person. 5 years journey that taught me a lot of things. I got to know what is 'tarbiyyah', 'usrah', 'daie' , 'daurah' and 'dakwah'. I had been surrounded by circle of friends that striving together for redha Allah. That was very memorable moment.
persahabatan, terasa hati ngan kawan kawan, kasih sayang, perasaan cinta yang tak pernah terluah... semuanya bermula di sini. It grew within my heart for the past 5 years. Setiap pertemuan akan ada perpisahan, itulah lumrah alam.
May Allah ease our path to serve ourselves for ummah. InsyaAllah...... :)
Sunday 18 May 2014
Tuesday 22 April 2014
recall~~~
bismillah.....
yesterday was my last day for my clinical exam. Alhamdulillah.. Allah helped me a lot throughout the day. hope for the best for next candidate for today and tomorrow.... Insya Allah we will pass this exam and be a good muslim doctors in 2 months time.
i have never imagined before that i will lost my father in my final year. He passed away 2 weeks before I sat for this very important exam. That morning, on my way to KL for SPA interview, my brother called me saying that my dad had severe shortness of breath. I was shocked and did not know what to do. We were far away and I asked my brother to brought him to the hospital. I was very worried then. But, 5 min later, I got another call and message from home~ dad had passed away. Ya Allah, ujian ini sungguh berat. How can I face the interviewer in this current situation. I did not know what to do, only cried at that time. 30 minutes left for interview, I got myself calm. I prayed to Allah to give me strength so that I did not shed tears in front of them. And Allah helped me again....the interview went well.
I went back home with my eldest brother, taking about 8 hours to reach there. It was very disappointed because I could not see his face for the last time. Without going back to home, we went to the graveyard. I could not stop from crying in front of my neighbours.
1 month before he left us~~~
my mom always called me saying that he changed a lot. He had stroke once but already recovered but he changed to be like a child. We did not expect this was his 'sign' that he will go to see The Creator. The last time I see him was when I went back home for chinese new year's holiday. Few weeks before exam, I asked him to pray for my success and forgave me for my wrong doings.
---------------------------
But, we already accepted the reality. This was the best Allah gave to us. My father is not like other fathers. He has nothing, not knowledgeable, not rich,.. but he is passionate, very friendly father eventhough he never showed his love to us through words, but we knew it. He worked very hard under the sun, in the sea to bring us something to survive. That was his life since his childhood until he passed away, the sea was his friend. But, he did not want his son to be like him, it was very difficult life. I realized our hard circumstances, so I studied hard and proved to other people that his daughter was the best...
It was hard for me to sit for the exam in emotionally unstable state. I could not control my sad feeling as if I wanted to give up. But, final exam will coming soon.. by hook or by crook I need to face it. My friends, my family, they always support me... Then, I came into my senses, in my prayer, in front of Allah, I seek for his blessing, His help.... Again, He gave me the courage because I could felt it.
Setiap manusia yang hidup pasti akan merasai mati...... I know that. Dan kita yang masih bernyawa ini hendaklah sentiasa bersiap sedia kerana maut datang tanpa kita sedari. Semoga roh arwah ayah dicucuri rahmat.... aminnn..
p/s : pro result will be announced this friday.....May Allah help ease my way...
yesterday was my last day for my clinical exam. Alhamdulillah.. Allah helped me a lot throughout the day. hope for the best for next candidate for today and tomorrow.... Insya Allah we will pass this exam and be a good muslim doctors in 2 months time.
i have never imagined before that i will lost my father in my final year. He passed away 2 weeks before I sat for this very important exam. That morning, on my way to KL for SPA interview, my brother called me saying that my dad had severe shortness of breath. I was shocked and did not know what to do. We were far away and I asked my brother to brought him to the hospital. I was very worried then. But, 5 min later, I got another call and message from home~ dad had passed away. Ya Allah, ujian ini sungguh berat. How can I face the interviewer in this current situation. I did not know what to do, only cried at that time. 30 minutes left for interview, I got myself calm. I prayed to Allah to give me strength so that I did not shed tears in front of them. And Allah helped me again....the interview went well.
I went back home with my eldest brother, taking about 8 hours to reach there. It was very disappointed because I could not see his face for the last time. Without going back to home, we went to the graveyard. I could not stop from crying in front of my neighbours.
1 month before he left us~~~
my mom always called me saying that he changed a lot. He had stroke once but already recovered but he changed to be like a child. We did not expect this was his 'sign' that he will go to see The Creator. The last time I see him was when I went back home for chinese new year's holiday. Few weeks before exam, I asked him to pray for my success and forgave me for my wrong doings.
---------------------------
But, we already accepted the reality. This was the best Allah gave to us. My father is not like other fathers. He has nothing, not knowledgeable, not rich,.. but he is passionate, very friendly father eventhough he never showed his love to us through words, but we knew it. He worked very hard under the sun, in the sea to bring us something to survive. That was his life since his childhood until he passed away, the sea was his friend. But, he did not want his son to be like him, it was very difficult life. I realized our hard circumstances, so I studied hard and proved to other people that his daughter was the best...
It was hard for me to sit for the exam in emotionally unstable state. I could not control my sad feeling as if I wanted to give up. But, final exam will coming soon.. by hook or by crook I need to face it. My friends, my family, they always support me... Then, I came into my senses, in my prayer, in front of Allah, I seek for his blessing, His help.... Again, He gave me the courage because I could felt it.
Setiap manusia yang hidup pasti akan merasai mati...... I know that. Dan kita yang masih bernyawa ini hendaklah sentiasa bersiap sedia kerana maut datang tanpa kita sedari. Semoga roh arwah ayah dicucuri rahmat.... aminnn..
p/s : pro result will be announced this friday.....May Allah help ease my way...
Sunday 30 March 2014
i am sorry
i think i do not want to write this post yet.... but i have to. i could not bear this feeling anymore..
if i did wrong, please tell me...
so that i realized my mistake...
if i did something unpleasant, please do correct me..
because that how true friend is...
is it by ignoring me please you very much?
maybe yes... because you have many friends surrounding you that you can go to...
be friend because of Allah, is it this way?
is it good to let your friend disheartened without you know it?
or maybe this is my fortune...
be too quite..too passive even people did not know how my feeling is
that trying to keep smiling in any circumstances..showing them i have no problem at all
how hypocrite i am
trying to please other people but did they even appreciate it?
when i think deeply..... i was just like my mom.... :'(
it is ok, if i am sad, i always have someone I can rely on..Allah..
and when my mom sad too, i will tell her to ask from Allah..
'' sesungguhnya Allah itu kuat, sekiranya kamu inginkan kekuatan, carilah Allah''
Friday 7 March 2014
6 weeks left~~~
assalam........
long time not view this blog... last tulis was few months ago.. ingat lagi masa tulis post tu there is still 195 days left for pro exam... and now, it only 6 weeks left.. masa sangat cepat...
currently in my last posting, obstetric & gynecology... only 3 weeks left to finish this posting. posting yg sangat busy, nak kejar procedure semua plus nak revise other posting... tak sempaaat.... rasa macam nak nangis jew.. time2 nak exam ni macam2 pulak masalahnya,.. pressure from people surrounding make me so scared to face the exam.. am i really ready to be a doctor?
but, i always realize Allah is there for me... even dalam usrah, akak murabbi selalu pesan letak Allah pada kat tempat yg teratas, berdoalah pada Allah kerana sesungguhnya Dialah yang akan menentukan samada kita berjaya atau tak... Allah yang pegang hati manusia, insyaAllah... Allah akan tolong kita lalui waktu tersebut dengan tenang. Berjaya dalam exam is not the only main aim, tapi redha Allah yang penting.. and i always bear that thing in my mind ........
day to day as a student life, it was very interesting and fascinating... meeting a lot of people with different altitude give some hint to me what to be in the future.. some of them very nice, very friendly to students like us, appreciate our presence, willing to teach us... that the person that i want to be.... in my case right now, being posted in obstetric ward with full of emotion always down my mood... however, i have chance to meet a few people that helpful and making me comfortable to talk with. rarely to see in other department though...
and...that is life.. when we have a stop in one place, meeting with people there, having good rapport and relationship until we need to leave it... we cannot expect to have similar environment in other place .. me too become easily emotional recently...don't know why.. maybe because of coming exam..
moga Allah redha perjalananku dalam menuntut ilmu... for next post, i hope i can update my life as an HO... amin ....
long time not view this blog... last tulis was few months ago.. ingat lagi masa tulis post tu there is still 195 days left for pro exam... and now, it only 6 weeks left.. masa sangat cepat...
currently in my last posting, obstetric & gynecology... only 3 weeks left to finish this posting. posting yg sangat busy, nak kejar procedure semua plus nak revise other posting... tak sempaaat.... rasa macam nak nangis jew.. time2 nak exam ni macam2 pulak masalahnya,.. pressure from people surrounding make me so scared to face the exam.. am i really ready to be a doctor?
but, i always realize Allah is there for me... even dalam usrah, akak murabbi selalu pesan letak Allah pada kat tempat yg teratas, berdoalah pada Allah kerana sesungguhnya Dialah yang akan menentukan samada kita berjaya atau tak... Allah yang pegang hati manusia, insyaAllah... Allah akan tolong kita lalui waktu tersebut dengan tenang. Berjaya dalam exam is not the only main aim, tapi redha Allah yang penting.. and i always bear that thing in my mind ........
day to day as a student life, it was very interesting and fascinating... meeting a lot of people with different altitude give some hint to me what to be in the future.. some of them very nice, very friendly to students like us, appreciate our presence, willing to teach us... that the person that i want to be.... in my case right now, being posted in obstetric ward with full of emotion always down my mood... however, i have chance to meet a few people that helpful and making me comfortable to talk with. rarely to see in other department though...
and...that is life.. when we have a stop in one place, meeting with people there, having good rapport and relationship until we need to leave it... we cannot expect to have similar environment in other place .. me too become easily emotional recently...don't know why.. maybe because of coming exam..
moga Allah redha perjalananku dalam menuntut ilmu... for next post, i hope i can update my life as an HO... amin ....
Tuesday 1 October 2013
rindu bulatan gembira
bismillah....
currently at teluk intan for 1 week surgery posting... and today is first October, meaning that there is still 195 days left for our pro exam... waaaa..... why time flies soooo fast... jangan duk bilang hari jer... study must go on.. keep yourself improved and be ready... the most important is doa.. insyaAllah..
sebenarnya.. da lama tak berbulatan gembira... i mean usrah.. dulu masa year 4 ad akak2 senior yg handle usrah nie.. tapi sekarang kumpulan usrah da kena rombak.. kawan kawan yg satu usrah dulu dapat naqibah yg stay dekat kolej, so almost every week diorang akan berjumpa... jeles3x... jomla kak naqibah kita jumpe...
first time kenal usrah nie masa preclinical year lagi..masa tu kadang2 pi surau..pastu ada join diorang berbulatan gembira.. hmm,, best2.. majority yg join tu geng geng tudung labuh sumenya... malu giler masa tu. but, they are not judgemental, though. aku ingat lagi dulu after maghrib, ade buat taklim dan kami berbulatan gembira bersama sama.. then, we share our problems to each other.. at that moment, entah kenapa aku sedih sangat masa bercerita pasal family kat diorang... sampai menangis2.. tapi, diorang so supportive.. sampai hari nie some of them still concern about my family prob, thanks ya..
napa aku suka sangat dengan bulatan gembira nie???? sebabbbbb:
- ada orang yang akan selalu mengingatkan kita supaya jangan duk lalai sangat urusan dunia ni
- walau sibuk mana belajar, cari ilmu nak jadi doktor, tapi ilmu agama penting tu weii
- dalam usrah, dapat bertadabbur al quran.. nie kalau baca quran bukan paham sangat pom.. kalau bertadabbur bersama sama, barula paham kenapa Allah turunkan setiap surah dalam al quran kan
- bukan setakat tadabbur jer, tapi ada jugak slot utk sirah, tajwid, akhlak, ibadat, dan free session untuk bersoal jawab...
- lepas join usrah baru taw pasal ikhtilat, aurat... dan sekarang pom masih berusaha untuk beristiqamah walaupom kadang2 'tergelincir' jugak
- akak2 naqibah yang bawak usrah tu ilmu diorang tu memang aku kagum.. seseorang daie itu harus mempunyai ilmu sebelum berdakwah kepada mad'u nya.. betol dop... bilalaa nak jadi macam diorang...
- dan banyak lagi sebenarnya... sebab usrah itu bertujuan untuk membawa kite lebih mengenal Allah, apa tanggungjawab kita kepada pencipta kita...
semoga Allah memimpin kita semua tetap pada jalan yang lurus... ya Allah, jika aku silap memilih jalan, atau jika aku buat dosa, sedarlah aku, ya Allah...
p/s: rindu bulatan gembira..:'(
currently at teluk intan for 1 week surgery posting... and today is first October, meaning that there is still 195 days left for our pro exam... waaaa..... why time flies soooo fast... jangan duk bilang hari jer... study must go on.. keep yourself improved and be ready... the most important is doa.. insyaAllah..
sebenarnya.. da lama tak berbulatan gembira... i mean usrah.. dulu masa year 4 ad akak2 senior yg handle usrah nie.. tapi sekarang kumpulan usrah da kena rombak.. kawan kawan yg satu usrah dulu dapat naqibah yg stay dekat kolej, so almost every week diorang akan berjumpa... jeles3x... jomla kak naqibah kita jumpe...
first time kenal usrah nie masa preclinical year lagi..masa tu kadang2 pi surau..pastu ada join diorang berbulatan gembira.. hmm,, best2.. majority yg join tu geng geng tudung labuh sumenya... malu giler masa tu. but, they are not judgemental, though. aku ingat lagi dulu after maghrib, ade buat taklim dan kami berbulatan gembira bersama sama.. then, we share our problems to each other.. at that moment, entah kenapa aku sedih sangat masa bercerita pasal family kat diorang... sampai menangis2.. tapi, diorang so supportive.. sampai hari nie some of them still concern about my family prob, thanks ya..
napa aku suka sangat dengan bulatan gembira nie???? sebabbbbb:
- ada orang yang akan selalu mengingatkan kita supaya jangan duk lalai sangat urusan dunia ni
- walau sibuk mana belajar, cari ilmu nak jadi doktor, tapi ilmu agama penting tu weii
- dalam usrah, dapat bertadabbur al quran.. nie kalau baca quran bukan paham sangat pom.. kalau bertadabbur bersama sama, barula paham kenapa Allah turunkan setiap surah dalam al quran kan
- bukan setakat tadabbur jer, tapi ada jugak slot utk sirah, tajwid, akhlak, ibadat, dan free session untuk bersoal jawab...
- lepas join usrah baru taw pasal ikhtilat, aurat... dan sekarang pom masih berusaha untuk beristiqamah walaupom kadang2 'tergelincir' jugak
- akak2 naqibah yang bawak usrah tu ilmu diorang tu memang aku kagum.. seseorang daie itu harus mempunyai ilmu sebelum berdakwah kepada mad'u nya.. betol dop... bilalaa nak jadi macam diorang...
- dan banyak lagi sebenarnya... sebab usrah itu bertujuan untuk membawa kite lebih mengenal Allah, apa tanggungjawab kita kepada pencipta kita...
semoga Allah memimpin kita semua tetap pada jalan yang lurus... ya Allah, jika aku silap memilih jalan, atau jika aku buat dosa, sedarlah aku, ya Allah...
p/s: rindu bulatan gembira..:'(
Tuesday 20 August 2013
dugaan--- konflik
masalah dalam family datang lagi...
tak pernah nak berhenti....
malu dah rasanya nak cerita and share masalah ngan kawan...
sebab family diorang happy jer...
i am so sorry because i always burden you with my family problem
sedih? memang sedih...
ada ke orang lain yang ada problem macam nie?
kenapa jadi begini?
bila nak rasa aman sikit?
kenapa Allah bagi ujian seberat ini pada kami?
nie lah soalan soalan yang kerap bermain dalam kepala....
tak baik mempersoalkan takdir Allah...
aku taw..tapi kekadang terpikir jugak....
tapi ramai orang kata aku 'cool' jer... mcm xde masalah pom...
tapi itu luaran je kan... dalam hati hanya Allah yang tahu...
setiap dugaan yang Allah bagi tu tandanya Allah masih ingat kat kita...
Dia nak tengok sejauh mana kita bersabar dengan ujianNya....
sekarang da final year...
nak study elok elok... tahun depan dah exam pro.... next week ada end of posting exam....
tapi, kaalu hari hari duk fikir tentang masalah nie, boleh ke brain nak cope?
sabarlah wahai hati..... ada lagi orang yg terima ujian yang lebih berat, contoh macam kat mesir sekarang nie haa...tapi mereka redha jer kan... sebab kita semua nie hamba Allah... memang kena diuji pom...
Sunday 7 July 2013
let's move on
bismillah.....
alhamdulillah...syukur ke hadrat Ilahi sebab dapat result yang ok masa exam end of semester last week.. dapat masuk final year..and everything will start tomorrow.. i'm gonna start with paediatric rotation followed by surgery, medicine, psychiatry and o&g... kena mula dengan posting yg tak berapa minat sangat....aishhh..
da masuk rotation baru kena laa bukak and carik balik segala nota2 masa year 3 dulu.. experience during year 3 paed dulu memang takleh lupaaaaa.... and i think it will repeat again.. aishhh.. but, ada sedikit improvement la kot compare dengan 3rd year dulu..hehe..kan da besar..:)
niat belajar kerana Allah.. walau sesusah mana pom halangannya, dugaannya, betapa garang lecturernya.. yang penting kita kena tahu Allah yang maha berkuasa atas segala galanya... Dialah yang lembut dan berkuasa melembutkan hati hati hambaNya.. Dialah yang memudahkan segala urusan hamba hamba yang tak jemu jemu meminta kepadaNya.. :)
14/4/2014-------> PROFESSIONAL EXAM------------> tarikh keramat.... lets move on to that date with mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared....
Ya Allah..please ease and guide me together with my beloved friends along our path to be a good muslim doctor...amin...
alhamdulillah...syukur ke hadrat Ilahi sebab dapat result yang ok masa exam end of semester last week.. dapat masuk final year..and everything will start tomorrow.. i'm gonna start with paediatric rotation followed by surgery, medicine, psychiatry and o&g... kena mula dengan posting yg tak berapa minat sangat....aishhh..
da masuk rotation baru kena laa bukak and carik balik segala nota2 masa year 3 dulu.. experience during year 3 paed dulu memang takleh lupaaaaa.... and i think it will repeat again.. aishhh.. but, ada sedikit improvement la kot compare dengan 3rd year dulu..hehe..kan da besar..:)
niat belajar kerana Allah.. walau sesusah mana pom halangannya, dugaannya, betapa garang lecturernya.. yang penting kita kena tahu Allah yang maha berkuasa atas segala galanya... Dialah yang lembut dan berkuasa melembutkan hati hati hambaNya.. Dialah yang memudahkan segala urusan hamba hamba yang tak jemu jemu meminta kepadaNya.. :)
14/4/2014-------> PROFESSIONAL EXAM------------> tarikh keramat.... lets move on to that date with mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared....
Ya Allah..please ease and guide me together with my beloved friends along our path to be a good muslim doctor...amin...
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