recall~~~

bismillah.....

yesterday was my last day for my clinical exam. Alhamdulillah.. Allah helped me a lot throughout the day. hope for the best for next candidate for today and tomorrow.... Insya Allah we will pass this exam and be a good muslim doctors in 2 months time.

i have never imagined before that i will lost my father in my final year. He passed away 2 weeks before I sat for this very important exam. That morning, on my way to KL for SPA interview, my brother called me saying that my dad had severe shortness of breath. I was shocked and did not know what to do. We were far away and I asked my brother to brought him to the hospital. I was very worried then. But, 5 min later, I got another call and message from home~ dad had passed away. Ya Allah, ujian ini sungguh berat. How can I face the interviewer in this current situation. I did not know what to do, only cried at that time. 30 minutes left for interview, I got myself calm. I prayed to Allah to give me strength so that I did not shed tears in front of them. And Allah helped me again....the interview went well.

I went back home with my eldest brother, taking about 8 hours to reach there. It was very disappointed because I could not see his face for the last time. Without going back to home, we went to the graveyard. I could not stop from crying in front of my neighbours.

1 month before he left us~~~

my mom always called me saying that he changed a lot. He had stroke once but already recovered but he changed to be like a child. We did not expect this was his 'sign' that he will go to see The Creator. The last time I see him was when I went back home for chinese new year's holiday. Few weeks before exam, I asked him to pray for my success and forgave me for my wrong doings.

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But, we already accepted the reality. This was the best Allah gave to us. My father is not like other fathers. He has nothing, not knowledgeable, not rich,.. but he is passionate, very friendly father eventhough he never showed his love to us through words, but we knew it. He worked very hard under the sun, in the sea to bring us something to survive. That was his life since his childhood until he passed away, the sea was his friend. But, he did not want his son to be like him, it was very difficult life. I realized our hard circumstances, so I studied hard and proved to other people that his daughter was the best...

It was hard for me to sit for the exam in emotionally unstable state. I could not control my sad feeling as if I wanted to give up. But, final exam will coming soon.. by hook or by crook I need to face it. My friends, my family, they always support me... Then, I came into my senses, in my prayer, in front of Allah, I seek for his blessing, His help.... Again, He gave me the courage because I could felt it.

Setiap manusia yang hidup pasti akan merasai mati...... I know that. Dan kita yang masih bernyawa ini hendaklah sentiasa bersiap sedia kerana maut datang tanpa kita sedari. Semoga roh arwah ayah dicucuri rahmat.... aminnn..

p/s : pro result will be announced this friday.....May Allah help ease my way...